J and my mom

In a very disturbing turn of events, J and my mom are teaming up against me to make me break some of my less savory bad habits.

On biting my nails:

(Over dinner in a Chinese resturant)

Mom: You should stop biting your nails.
J: Yes, I keep telling her all the time.
Mom: You see, you should stop biting your nails.
Me: Uh-huh
J: (showing her my fingers)...see what she does to them.
Mom: Very bad. Stop biting your nails.
J: Yeah, stop biting your nails.
Me: ....

On running the NYC Marathon:

(While at my Mom's shoe store)

Mom to J: Do you need new sneakers? Which pair do you like? I'll get them for you.
J: No, it's okay. I'm fine.
Mom to J: No, really. Which one do you want? What size are you? I'll be right back with a pair.
Mom to me: Do you need new sneakers?
Me: Yes, how about these?
Mom: Okay, I'll get both your sneakers.

[Mom returns with sneakers]

J to my Mom: Do you know that she's going to run in the Marathon and her knee is injuried? (I'd not told my mother of my knee injury.)
[Mom punches me in the arm]
Mom: Don't run in the Marathon. You'll kill yourself. You can't have new sneakers.
J to Mom: I keep telling her not to run but she won't listen to me.
[Mom punches me in the arm again]
Mom: Don't run in the Marathon.
J: Yeah, don't run in the marathon.
Me:...