Thursday, October 21, 2004

Oct. 20

Thanks to all of you for your lovely birthday cheers! They made me happy!

Sorry that things have been so quiet here and in my general communication. I've been very busy - in really good ways - but busy none the less. But isn't that my natural state of affairs?

Anyhoo, in celebration of my birthday - here is a poem for you.*

*And before y'all get all upset that I'm depressed or anything, please realize that this is A POEM, meaning it is art, meaning it is fiction, meaning don't read so damn much into everything.

Now, for the poem. Enjoy.


Today I am 29
An insignificant birthday
Lacking the function of 30, the indulgence of 21
I am too young for Ajima
My belly still flat and shrunk
I do not feel protective when children trip or fall
Yet, I am too bold and without shame for Agashee
I do not cover my mouth when I laugh
I will correct you if you are wrong

I am nameless and wedged

I whisper prayers for my mother – Umma
Run my bleeding, cracked fingers through my only physical resemblance to her
My hair – fine, slack, uncombed
And wish that I can give her what she wants above all else
Ringing, happy, unguarded wails of Halmunee – Grandma
Halmunee, I’m hungry.”
Halmunee, tell me a bedtime story.”
But I will never admit this to her
It would only compound her desire and emptiness

There are so few pictures of you as a child…Umma remarks

As though it were my fault
To be born in transit
Across an ocean, a continent, a lifetime
Childhood memories consist of
Picking roaches off of bare legs and arms
And government cheese distributed in 12”x4”x4” logs
Orange, stinking, and delicious
A distant life then that imagined on this day
Off a ill-paved road in Chon-Ju
In a hospital that had yet to discover the wisdom of disinfectant
29 years ago

All as well, since you are crying in nearly every one.

One Zero Two Zero
The rhythm and symmetry appealing to my artistic aesthetic
A good number – round, divisible by many others
2, 5, 10, 20
Easily broken down into smaller, more manageable components
Simplicity imbedded in wholeness
Indicative of my Libra constitution
Indicative of me

1 comment:

klo said...

Happy Birthday darling! Hope you had a delightful filled with love, surprises and chocolate cake! Who is this new man? Tell me more!!