Tuesday, January 30, 2007

It all gets better at 30!

So, my good man over on the other side of the pond provided some advice to friend who is/was turning 30. He suggested that others also contribute to the whole debate...this was my letter to him.

It All Gets Better at 30!

Now that I've been 30 for 15 months and 10 days I like to think that I'm a bit of an expert in the department. Actually, I'm so advanced I've actually been awarded the very honorable distinction of 31. I'm such an over-achiever. But I digress.

Please inform G of the following. I'm not sure if the same can be said for men, but unless G is considering a sex change operation I think we're covered.

The sex is much better now...MUCH MUCH better.

Let me elaborate...

As a teenager you're a bit obsessed with the idea of being a "good girl". Good girls aren't supposed to want to have sex. You spend a lot of years trying to convince yourself that only bad girls have sex and good girls hold out. Who can enjoy sex with this sort of baggage? Plus, teenage boys (and girls for that matter) haven't a clue what to do with all that equipment.

As a young 20something you've gotten over the whole good girl/bad girl thing a bit. You've hopefully cut a few notches in your belt and have the basic mechanics down fairly well (foreplay, foreplay, in and out, missionary with maybe a little doggie for added spice.) The boys are getting better but they're still a bit self-absorbed. Sometimes you forget their names or they forget yours and well...calling out Jack when you really meant to say Henry can really kill the mood. Plus, if you're anything like the stereotypical 21 year old, you're probably sleeping on some squeaky hand-me-down futon with sheets so old and stained sometimes you think you can actually draw a picture of Daffy Duck's head if you connected all the dots. THAT really helps set the mood!

By your late 20s you're starting to come into your own. Your hearts been broken (probably more than once.) You're figured out that the best way to avoid accidentally calling out someone elses name is not to use names at all (everyone enjoys a well voiced oh or ah). Your collection of sex shop purchases takes up the better half the space in your sock drawer and you've used each item multiple times - both alone and with at least one partner. Now here's the stinker. This is just around the time that things start to get a bit droopy...the boobs start migrating south for the winter, your belly (rather than your boobs) are the first thing to enter a room, and suddenly each wave goodbye is an opportunity for your upper arms to also join in on the fun. Makes a girl wonder if she'll ever be able to turn on the lights in her bedroom again!

And then you turn 30!
  • You've upgraded to a mattress that's fit for royalty (Queen! King!) with maybe even a pillow top and 300 threadcount sheets!
  • You're actually starting to enjoy your soft belly. It makes for a great impromptu bongo and a nice pillow for your lovers head.
  • When you roll over in the morning, you actually recognize the person sleeping next to you...and more importantly he remembers that you like your tea with honey and 2% milk.
  • You've filtered through that sock/toy drawer and whittled your collection down to the two things that are most important...a good vibrator and lots of lube.
  • You don't mind kissing with morning breathe.
  • You've figured out what works and you have no qualms asking for it.
  • You rarely, if ever, wake up on Saturday or Sunday morning hung over and reeking of smoke...well, unless you like that sort of thing.
  • You (or your lover) can take a spontaneous luxury weekend trip and still pay all your bills at the end of the month.
  • He has no problem finding IT...
And for all these reasons...


Monday, January 29, 2007

I Hate Digital Cameras

So, I've been trying to take pictures with my fancy schmancy digital camera and I've learned one thing...I hate digital photography.

You just can't wack open the aperture enough.

I hate flash. Natural light is the way to go but sometimes you just don't have enough natural light for a proper exposure. That's when you have one of two choices...either open up the aperature or pop the flash. Did I tell you that I hate flash.

I can't seem to take a good photo with my digital camera. Can't can't.

I'm resigned to either my beloved non-digital SLR or suck it up and plunk down the money for one of those even fancier schmancier digital SLRs.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Picture a Day

Okay, I need to take more pictures.

I know a lot of other people have done this but my goal is to take at least one new picture each day. I will post them on this site, although I'm not promising that they will go up every single day. Think bulk upload.

Hopefully this will work.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

In memory of Art Buchwald

Art Buchwald, political satirist and all around snarky fellow, passed away last night at the age of 81. The New York Times has an interesting interview with him, filmed in July 2006, wherein Art Buchwald announces his own death.

Here's to you Mr. Buchwald.

"If you can make people laugh, you get all the love in the world." - Art Buchwald.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Skiing without death

Spent the long MLK weekend up in Montreal visiting a friend of the boy's and skiing...or I should say falling...on the slopes of Mont Tremblant.

To give you an idea of my "stellar" slope skills here are some comments made by my mom and sister.

Me: I'm going skiing this weekend.
Mom: Don't kill yourself.

Me: I'm going skiing this weekend.
Siser: Don't kill yourself.

Check out the crazy hat head on me! It was a fun weekend overall.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Love out to two friends

Normally my posts are written for all of you to enjoy but today I'm writing this post to two special friends. They know who they are. You can cover your eyes or something to avoid the ensuing mushiness.

Friend #1 in Chicago by way of A-squared

Hey you! I'm so totally not meaning to ignore you. I was thrilled to hear your voice over New Years weekend, if only for a moment. I'd have talked longer if I didn't have someone very special over. So, I was supposed to fly into Chicago later this month but then my plans got changed and people decided they'd rather hold their meeting in NY. Bummer. I haven't seen you since...since...since I think the time I was driving cross country. That was almost 2.5 years ago.

Anyhoo, I'll try to catch up with you real soon. I just wanted to let you know that I think about you ALL THE TIME. Seriously girl, I miss you loads.


Sassy friend #2 in Georgia also by way of A-squared

Oh my gosh, girl! I got your card yesterday. It was the best card EVER! Thank you. I love the card but now I'm in a bit of a quandry. I was going to send you this really funny card I stumbled across the other day - it has a picture of some buddhist monks riding a roller coaster - but now that you've already beat me to the punch, I don't want it to seem like I sent you the card because you sent me yours. Does that make any sense? I'm actually quite delinquent. I purchased the card almost two months ago and meant to send it to you back then...but then life got busy and I kept forgetting to send it and then it was Christmas and blah blah blah...excuses. I should just send it to you.

I'll write lots more in the card.


Oh why are all my most favorite people scattered to the farthest corners of this country?

The iPhone is a Democrat

I think the best thing about the new iPhone being launched by Apple is that it's a Democrat. If you go to the Apple site and look at the iPhone page, you'll notice that when it demos it's web capabilities, the iPhone goes to the NY Times. But it doesn't go to just any NY Times cover page, it goes to the cover page run on Nov. 8th 2006. Why is this date so special? It was the day the Democrats clinched the House majority. The web demo goes on even further and highlights the article that covers the electoral results.

Coincidental...I think not!