This entry is titled either "Possibly the worst 48 hours of my life" or "Why I'm thankful for Yoga and God"

I'm back in the US - New York City and I don't think I've ever been more happy to return to it's familiar chaos and cool autumnal weather. Don't get me wrong now, Thailand was a complete and utter blast. Bangkok lived up to every rumor, song, and hushed tale told of it. New York may be the epicenter of all things cool and forward but Bangkok is the epicenter for all things nonsensical and gloriously chaotic. It's a city that was designed by taking a box of pixie sticks and dumping the contents on the floor. The red pixie sticks represent all the major highways and roads. All the other colors represent the various one way streets, dead ends, and streets that seemingly run in circles that comprise all of downtown Bangkok.

*Non-sequitor*

Whilst wandering through one of the many new mega-malls that seemingly dominante the psychology of every teenage Bangkokian I made a profound discovery - shows are cut wider in Asia! This is a huge discovery. I got into A LOT of trouble!

*End of non-sequitor*

Now, back to the reason why I gave this entry two titles. Bangkok was a blast. I ate too much, practiced some good yoga, bought many pairs of cute comfy shoes, was invited to watch a female eject ping pong balls and open bottles with her most private of parts, and drank far too many fresh, young coconuts. All the problems began when I left Bangkok. Whilst enroute to NY via Kuala Lumpur I somehow got kidnapped for 4 hours and robbed. Sounds rather dramatic - it was. It's funny the thoughts that run through ones head when they think there gonna die in a foreign country. Since I'm writing this entry, hopefully it's obvious that I'm completely fine, both physically and psychologically. But let me tell you, thank goodness for God and Yoga...and I'm not talking figuratively. I'm sure both played a fairly large role in making sure that all things turned out well. God for that extra protective hand, Yoga for the calmness of mind to help me stay rationale and entirely far to boring to make for a good afterschool special protagonist.

After some review of the events and discussion with the US Embassy in Malaysia (and a criminal attorney) I'm starting to realize my kidnapping and subsequent robbery was an inside job - some combination of Malaysia Airlines employees, KL International Airport employees, and hotel employees. In anycase, I'm pursuing legal actions against all three parties. According to the detective who took my report, kidnapping of tourists, particularly Americans and Europeans, is a highly common crime in Malaysia.

So kids, what have we learned from today's lesson?

DON'T GO TO MALAYSIA!

Now, don't all jump to leave me sympathetic comments about blah, blah, blah. I'm fine...really. I'm just kinda pissed that they took my favorite sports watch.