Sunday, May 15, 2005

You must experience great sorrow to appreciate great joy

I'm so conflicted now. It's been about 19 hours since my mom's attack. She's severly nauseaus, vomiting everything she tries to take in, and EXTERMELY battered. It's hard to look at her without wanting to cry and/or go out and hunt down the people that did this to her. But she hasn't lost consciousness...and if she continues in this vain, she's in the clear. Just several weeks of recovery and rest.

They say you have to experience great sorrow to appreciate great joy...or rather because of the worlds system of checks and balance...if something really good exists, something really challenging must also exist. Well, given how friggin UNBELIEVABLE and AMAZING and KIND and LOVING my family is...I guess this string of tragic events is what it takes to counterbalance us.

2002 - My oldest sister dies in a freak accident.
2003 - My little sister is in a very bad car accident whereby the car flips over multiple times.
2004 - My dad has a heart attack
2005 - My mom

But...come on...can't we have just one year - 12 months - when no one has to be rushed to the hospital emergency room.

My decision to move back home from San Francisco was the best decision I made. I would have gone crazy if I was stuck in SF (kinda the way I got REALLY, REALLY depressed and gained 20 lbs after my dad's heart attack).

Well, the one thing all of this has proven is that my family is really tough, tight and VERY good in a times of crisis. I suppose we've had a lot of experience with tragedy.

I'm not joking when I tell y'all to turn to your nearest loved one, or pick up the phone, and tell them you love them. Then tell them why you love them. Tell them one thing that they do that makes your heart smile. Tell them one way that they have made your life better. Tell them that they mean the world to you. Then give them a kiss and a hug. And give them a good hug. Not one of those half-assed patty hugs. A hug that tells them that you are there for them, that you're not going anywhere, and that they are loved unconditionally and wholly. Hold them and feel their warmth and give thanks that they are alive. Hold them and feel their heart pound and give thanks that they exist. Hold them, feel their lungs rise and fall and give thanks that you have this moment with them.

I know all to well how scary it is to imagine life without the people you love...I've had to live the scenario far too many times...

Love Shamelessly
Love Passionately
Love Wholely
Love Consumingly
Love Consciously
Love Appreciatively
Love Tenderly
Love Generously
Love Bravely
Love Entirely


klo said...

I am shocked and disgusted at what has happened to your mum. This is a HUGE hug from across the pond! When my parents had a terrible car accident 20 years ago, it was touch and go. For a long time afterwards, I wouldn't leave without kissing each member of my family one by one and telling them I loved them. I still do it. Coz you never know. And regrets are a waste of time. So this is the best advice you can give someone. Mucho love corazon. Kaz. xx

lippy said...

Wow Bo... Just randomly checking your site to find this news. So sorry to hear about your mom. All the best for a speedy recovery and you are in my thoughts.

cackmandu said...

I hate the checks and balances of life! I lost my mom when I was 14. Life was over as I knew it! I was miserable for a while and I too gained weight but soon realized that this was about as hard as life would get for me and if I could over it at the age of 14-16 I could do just about anything. Turns out that I am a huge underachiever and screw things up from time to time. I guess its those damn checks and balances.

I am sorry to hear this news. I would love to meet these spinless cowards and show them my Louisville Slugger! I hope that you are doing well and count your blessings!