Thursday, August 04, 2005

On Loss and Letting Go

It is with extreme sadness that I inform you that I have lost something very precious and dear to me. It was with great difficulty that I let her go. She was hanging in there for so long. She wanted to stay with me but alas her time had come. So, last night, after much debate, I did it. I let her go.

Who is she, you ask?

The toenail on my right big toe.

You're probably thinking...."Eeeeeewwwwwww, why did you share that with us?"

Well...I think it's kind of amusing.

See, here's the story. About three weeks ago I did a crazy, long, wonderful run. I was out running for about 3 hours and covered 17 miles. Don't ask me what motivated me...I really don't know. I like to run (which all of you know already.) And sometimes I just need to go out there and run and sometimes it just feels so good and I continue to run until I'm completely exhausted. It was that kind of run. Anyway, about a day later, my big toe nail started hurting. Hmmm...,I thought, that's not good. A few days later, my toe started swelling a bit. Still not good. A few days after that the swelling went away but I started noticing a certain "looseness" occuring in the toe nailbed. Hmmm...weird, I thought. Then about two weeks ago I noticed that my entire nail was no longer attached to the nailbed. It didn't hurt or anything, it was just detached. I wondered how long this would go on. Well, I have an answer now. Last night when I was taking my post yoga shower my toenail finally decided to say goodbye. It wasn't painful, it wasn't very eventful...she just sort of fell out. Weird.

Anyway, now I have no toenail on my right big toe. I wonder if another will grow in? What if one doesn't? Will I be big toenailless for the rest of my life?

It looks pretty funny actually. As many of you know, I like to keep my toenails painted a nice fire engine red. Keeps my feet and my soul happy. Anyhoo, it's kinda weird to look down and see 9 sparkly red toes and one dud. Should I paint a little square red box on my flesh? It's so weird. It's also incredibly amusing. I'm kinda giddy (if you can't tell from the tone of this post.)

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